Finding your life after a major disability.

I took sick after a major injury that manifested into Severe Fibromyalgia and managed to set off many dormant child hood conditions and diseases. Thus causing me to become multi disabled and leaving me to re-find and re-define my new self. After having been a muscular athletic person for the better portion of my life, to find myself at that point and time in my life becoming a BBW within the media of the 90's was a nightmare. I want to help as many woman see how beautiful we are. I want the world to know that because a woman is secure in her body does not make her any less smart or capable, no not in the same ways she used to be but in some all new ways. Ways that took me 10 years to manage to realize and make peace with. No one should have to live in pain and with illness and feel ugly and worthless at the same time.

I am not saying it was completely due to or the fault of the media but they definitely did not help the situation in any way the media portrayed any woman with more than 10 extra pounds on her body.

Now, after desires of suicide, self seclusion and feelings of helplessness, with the help of some medicine for pain and other problems and the determined and worn out loving young adult of a daughter, I have managed to find myself through my inner Faith in a more peaceful position in life. One that has me full of drive and desires again. Capable of starting and following through to the finish things that I start and wanting to do this not forcing my self as I had been doing, just to survive.  No I am not cured of anything but I am happier and do find joy in life again. This is to be shared and given to as many as I possibly can.

I learned I had to love me, as who I was now.  The many different me's I had not taken the time to get to know and in fact did not want to know,  They were not the me I had always been and still wanted so desparately to be again, forever.  All of these new refused parts of me, added up to complete this one person, me now.  A beautiful thick curvy voluptuous and desirable woman, 'ME'!!! 

Thank you for taking the time out of your life to read and explore my world. With much Love and Lots of Thought, I Present to You my Dream in Reality. ENJOY who you are now, tomorrow is not promised and honestly yesterday was wasted living like that.  To my benefit it did take some medications to balance some things that did cause me to not be able to concentrate regularly but it is never an excuse to allow life and 10 years of it to just disappear.

Whoever you find yourself as, whatever deformities you are plagued with, however much you weigh, look at them closely, as I eventually did and find what you can do for you to better your life.  Find it within those limits, stop fighting to break out and go beyond your limits.  Make peace within, whatever way you believe and live again.  Life is short and precious, live it to the best of your abilities.